Meerkat memoirs could be Christmas bestseller

Yes he's a fictional character used to sell car insurance, but that doesn't look like it will stop Aleksandr Orlov’s new ‘autobiography’ from becoming a best seller.
A book telling the 'life story' of the world's most famous meerkat looks set to become a hit after making it into Amazon's Top 100 pre-orders.

Most Brits aren't fully awake until after 9.55am

Sleepy Brits don't wake-up fully until around 10am every morning, a study of snoozers has found.
Despite getting out of bed at an average of 6.40am, eight in ten Brits admit they don't feel properly awake for hours.

In fact, most of us say we only feel 100 per cent alert at 9.55am and have used tried and tested methods of waking ourselves up.

Watch out for the Grammar Nazis!

College Humor is one of my favourite humor websites, and a great source for funny videos. Today I am sharing their funny sketch about grammar nazis, you know those people who annoyingly correct every sentence you utter. Well, they have taken the nickname and coupled it with that great first scene from Inglorious Basterds, where Christopher Walz‘s SS officer Hans Landa interrogates the French farmer, and made a spoof that’ll make you laugh. In this funny video we see the grammar nazi picking holes in everything the poor farmer says until the location of the hidden Jew is discovered.

PG Porn is SFW – Nailing Your Wife

PG Porn is movie director and actor James Gunn‘s project featuring some of hollywood’s biggest talent, it’s all about the unexpected. It may have the P word in its title, but it’s not porn. 

Two chickens walk into a library and say…

Two chickens walked up to the  desk at a public library and said, ‘Buk, buk BUK.’ The librarian decided that the chickens were after three books, and so gave them three popular novels… and the chickens left shortly after.

Around midday, the two chickens returned to the circulation desk quite vexed and squawked, ‘Buk, buk BUKKOOK!’ The librarian decided that the chickens desired another three books and promptly handed over another three. The chickens proceeded to leave, as before.

Marketing Department ‘spin’ joke

An inter-office softball game was held every year between the Marketing Department and support staff of one company.

The day of the game, as hard as the Marketers tried, the support staff whipped the Marketing Department soundly.

When tattoos go wrong…

There are many reasons for people to get tattoos today, ranging from decorative to spiritual to cosmetic. They have been used to mark rites of passage, social standing and as identification. More and more these days we are school age kids in Europe getting heavily tattooed on their arms, legs and other visible locations meaning that it is more and more important that there are no mistakes made when having the indelible ink inserted into the dermis level of their skin. Unfortunately we are seeing more and more tattoo mistakes or just plain bad tattoos. Here are a few examples of epic fails in the area of tattooing… Doh!

Crazy Must-Have Luggage Stickers

These luggage stickers would really be a lot of fun but I wonder if they insure you against getting shot and killed?

$765 Bottle of Beer and that is not the Strange Part!

You think a bottle of beer for $765 is weird?  Wait till you see how it is packaged!!

According to Scottish firm BrewDog, “The End of History” is the “strongest (55% alcohol), most expensive and most shocking beer in the world.”

$69 Hot Dog Surprise

What better to go with a $765 bottle of beer?  A $69 hot dog, the world most expensive tube o’ beef!  In the past restaurateur Stephen Bruce has already gotten folks to pony up $1,000 for an ice-cream sundae. So what’s a measly $69 for a hot dog?

Teen with Sleep Disorder Can Sleep for Two Weeks At-a-Time

This is just plain weird!  I hope she grows out of it because this is a crappy way to live life.  Louisa Ball does not even know about her prolonged sleeps, which began in 2008 as she recovered from flu, were initially thought to be hormonal until she was diagnosed with Kleine-Levin Syndrome last year.

Buy a Heart Attack in a Box

Just in time for your Christmas hate list!!  Buy that special someone a heart attack in a box, chocolate covered bacon!!  You heard me right, this delicious treat can be had for $9 a box, in dark or milk chocolate!

Too Much Vampire Exposure for Teens

With the revival of this horror genere seems to come some unexpected problems with some nutty young folks.
Two self-described practitioners of paganism and vampirism have been arrested in Arizona after they stabbed their roommate in an attempt to drink his blood.

Robert Maley, 25, told police that he had previously allowed his friends, 21-year-old Amanda Williamson and 24-year-old Aaron Homer, to drink his blood but when he refused to last Monday, the two stabbed him in their apartment.

Crazy 8 Million Dollar iPhone

Some of you like me may have grown up watching The Six Million Dollar Man, but how about an $8,000,000 iPhone? Stuart Hughes, the British jeweler known for his expensive remakes of popular gadgets, is at it again, this time with a diamond-clad iPhone 4 with a price tag of 5 million pounds, or roughly $8 million.

Zoo reveals food shopping list for 16,000 animals

Other than not wanting to end up in the lion enclosure, you've probably never given a second thought to what animals at the zoo eat.

But London Zoo has just revealed their annual food shopping list -- and if you thought your family eat like animals, their mega-order should put it into perspective.

Every week the zoo gets through more than a tonne of bananas and apples and each years their 600 different species eat nearly nine tonnes of meat.

World's first cheese billboard revealed in London

A giant advertising billboard made from 110kg of cheese has been revealed in Covent Garden, London -- bizarrely to promote broadband internet services.

The 5m x 4m cheese sculpture features an image of Speedy Gonzales the cartoon mouse (the only link to cheese we can think of) and the text "Super Speedy Broadband." 

Woman begins her month-long stay in US museum

The chances are her stay won't be as exciting as Ben Stiller's -- but it will certainly be longer. A woman has begun a month-long stay in a US museum.
After beating more than 1,500 applicants, Kate McGroarty has moved into the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry where she will live for 30 days.

Survey reveals Top 50 funniest jokes ever told

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told.

Astronomers find oldest and most distant galaxy

British astronomers have spotted the oldest and most distant galaxy ever discovered in the universe. And unsurprisingly it's a long way off.
In fact boffins say the galaxy, catalogued as object UDFY38135539, is so far away light takes 13 billion years to reach Earth.

By analysing the faint glow of the galaxy scientists say they have found they're seeing it when the Universe was only about 600 million years old.

VIOlight uses UV to kill germs on your mobile

People think nothing of holding a mobile phone to their mouth despite the fact most have more germs per square inch than doorknob or toilet seat.
But now - hoping this statistic will scare us - a device has been launched which promised to kill 99.9% of germs and bacteria on phones and other gadgets.

The VIOlight is a £30 gadget cleaner which is said to decrease the number of E. coli, salmonella, listeria, and H1N1 virus germs on your phone.

It works by zapping your MP3 player, mobile phone or earbuds with a blue-violet light from a germicidal UV bulb for around three minutes.

Adriana Lima reveals her $2m diamond bra

upermodel Adriana Lima brought part of New York to a standstill yesterday, by arriving at a lingerie store wearing a $2m bra.

Lima was modelling the Victoria's Secret 'Bombshell fantasy' bra -- also dubbed the bling-bra -- at their store in Soho.

Hovding airbag helmet for style-conscious cyclists

Designers have created an 'airbag collar' for cyclists who don't want to be seen in a normal helmet -- but equally don't want to smash their head open.
The 'Hovding' helmet is the brainchild of Swedish designers Anna Haupt and Terese Alstin who received requests for a helmet which would not spoil your hair-do. 

After six years, they say they've now perfected their odd helmet which looks like a scarf and only springs into action when accelerometers and gyro-meters inside detect sudden jolt.

It works much like an in-car airbag and speedily inflates with helium and wraps safely around the wearers head… though it may spoil their hair while saving their life.

Kids Find Dead Classmate’s Brain at Morgue

The parents of a New York teen killed in a car crash five years ago are suing the city’s medical examiner for keeping their dead son’s brain on display in a jar at the morgue for months without telling them.

Here’s how they found out: The boy’s classmates, including his girlfriend, spotted it labeled with his name while they were on a school field trip to the mortuary.

Russian Teen Surgically Transformed to Become Paris Hilton

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Paris Hilton has just been paid the ultimate compliment as a Russian teenager, Anna Ivanov, has undergone cosmetic surgery to look just like her.

19-year-old- Ivanov was already nicknamed Paris by her friends for her resemblance to the socialite, but she really wanted to be like her in every detail.

Man Who Sues Strip Club For Injury, Awarded $650,000

A trip to the strip club turned into a trip to the bank for a Florida man who won a $650,000 settlement after an exotic dancer kicked him in the face.

Michael Ireland received the out-of-court settlement after claiming he suffered permanent double vision when a dancer named “Suki” kicked him in the eye at the Cheetah Club near West Palm Beach in 2008.

Chad Ochocinco’s Cereal Promotes Phone Sex Line

Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco has his own cereal line, but it turns out the Pro Bowler is promoting more than just a breakfast snack.

The phone number printed on Ochocinco’s cereal boxes directs callers to a phone sex line that offers “the sluttiest girls your nasty imagination can dream.” The voice who answers the call promises that “me and my ultra-hot girlfriends will do whatever it takes to pleasure you,” and the woman does not spare detail when mentioning multiple sexual positions.

The Secret Life of Colonel Russell Williams

BELLEVILLE, CANADA —The charges against the colonel took 36 minutes to be read out to a silent courtroom.

David Russell Williams stood facing the clerk listing his crimes, his head bowed as if the weight of his deeds were crushing him.

To the first count of murdering Marie-France Comeau, a flight attendant who worked at his air force base, he pleaded in a clear voice: “Guilty, your honour.” To the second count of killing Jessica Elizabeth Lloyd, his guilty plea was barely audible.

Susan Boyle will never perform for the Queen

Will Susan Boyle ever be allowed to perform for the Queen of England?

She’s an every-woman as opposed to an untouchable fantasy goddess,

To fulfill that dream, “I just want that chance to perform in front of the Queen”

The oldest woman in the world just celebrated her 130th birthday

Antis Hvichave of Georgia was met by guests in her bed room to celebrate her 130^th Birthday and easily establishes herself as the oldest woman on earth.

This Long liver was born in 1880 in the village of Sachino in the Abkhazeti region of western Georgia. For several decades, she worked at a local farm. She was one of the best tea pickers on the plantation according to her own recollection. This status can not be disputed by anyone seeing as Antis has long out lived any of her past employers and we will certainly take her word for it.

Lady GaGa undergoes overbooking of duets

Days ago Snoop Dogg said that he would wish to unite his voice to the one of Susan Boyle to sing a song. Then, now Boyle says that her immediate dream would be to make a duet with bizarre Lady GaGa. It is an artist-want-pair-with-artist circle that never finishes. Each singer has his or her own idols within the profession and all want to share their talent with somebody (and of steps to sell more, clearly). 

Body Guard files sexual harassment charges against Britney Spears

To what extent will people go to make a fast buck and take advantage of someone? When I first read the weird headlines of Britney being accused by yet another pansy body guard I could not help but laugh. Hey!  Britney is beautiful, rich and a bit eccentric but I’m sure you knew that going in. Another frivolous lawsuit which should be cast out faster than it was filed. 

Britney is once again implicated in another scandal: She is accused of sexual harassment in relation to her chief bodyguard. 

It was learned that 29-year-old Fernando Flores, formerly served in the police force, and then became a bodyguard for Britney Spears, has decided to leave his job. Flores said that his “employer” Britney, the mother of two children, constantly strolled in front of him naked, terribly confusing the former cop. 

Kids: Get Freaked for Free at Ripley's in New York

New York's an expensive place to entertain a kid... but the Ripley's Believe It or Not! New York Odditorium has an offer that can take some of the sting out: They're letting children in for free from Oct. 25 - Oct. 29.

They're calling it the "After Ghoul Special" and kids will get the free entry when accompanied by an adult who coughs up the $30 "Ultimate Adventurer" admission fee.

In addition to an eyeful of oddities, staff will be decked out in Halloween costumes and offer candy throughout the Odditorium from 4pm to 7pm that week.

There will also be a Halloween-themed scavenger hunt during those hours, Monday through Friday.

I'm taking my own family this weekend, so keep an eye out for me -- I'll be the freak dressed as Buck Wolf.

Photo © Ripley's Believe It or Not!

'Moss Man' Accused in Bizarre Museum Break-In Attempt

No, it's not Bigfoot.

In what has to be one of the strangest images in the Weird Crime Mug Shot Hall of Shame, an Oregon man was arrested in what can only be described as a mossy costume. Police say he donned the disguise in an effort to break into the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals in Oregon.

But as Ben Muessig reports, the ridiculous outfit wasn't the only problem with the plan -- he was also caught drilling into a bathroom that wasn't connected to the museum's prized quarter-million-dollar gold collection.

Gregory Liascos, 36, has been charged with burglary, criminal mischief and wearing a costume before Halloween. (Dumb Crime du Jour)

Photo © Washington County (Oregon) Sheriff's Office

Lady Gaga Celebrates John Lennon By Comparing Herself to Him

Lady Gaga has a long way to go before anyone will compare her to John Lennon.

But she's apparently concerned that she might share the late Beatle's tragic fate -- and has hired extra security to keep any potentially murderous fans away.

"She worries over how John Lennon died and fears the same happening to her. She has these horrible thoughts that there may be plans to kill her," a source was quoted as saying.

The singer has received letters from fans who want to die with her... but the gang atFark.com says maybe she shouldn't worry so much: